07/29/03 some thoughts about my present life.

 Since I am home most of the time without much to do except read books I
 thought I would take a few minutes out and write you about the good

 But having lived in Mexico what may seem like good news may not be good
 news it may be just an illusion of some kind and not reality.

 I am very sad today that I spent two hours on the radio net today
 looking for some music I might enjoy and I always found something wrong
 with the music and ended up not liking it.  I find it very difficult to
 listen to music.  I did find a DVD of Glen Gould recording of Bach that
 was really something though. (The Goldberg Variations)  So I am thinking
 can I be out of step or is everybody else out of step.

 I have been talking with and old friend from Toronto, Bernie Senensky conversations with Bernie!
 through e-mail and  he has brought up the past and the seven creative 
 years I spent in  Toronto.  

(The only problem with living in foreign  countries is that you  have to
 wait in line for the locals to do it first  and maybe they will  give you
 a chance to work.)  In Toronto I was told I  could not get equal treatment
 until I was in the country for five years.

 After five years I  did get some opportunities to compose classical music
 for some money. My  dear loving father sent me 50 dollars a month so I could
 get by until I  found something.  I remember sitting in the corner hamburger shop for
 hours on end wondering what to do.  In Mexico it was really something.
 I do not recommend anybody going to Mexico or to Acapulco. Maybe other
 parts of the country are better I do not know.  You can read about my
 experiences at my internet site on the other info page.

 Anyway it was so evolved it is hard to go into in an e-mail.  Need less
 to say in China I do not want to be over worked liked I was in NYC, and everything was
 political or racism of one form or the other in NY too and I was  
 treated like the enemy in Mexico, or not equal until I live in a country
 for five years.  So here in China I am a little nervous needless to say.  My question is
 how can you live in a country for five years without working?

 A manager of the Shenzhen Symphony invited me here, Li Ho Ming, to China so I did even though I know you get
 treated like a second class citizen when you live in another country.
 But I did not think my treatment in the States was all that great
 either, plus I was really burned out with the States anyway. I just
 needed something different.

 Well, I am here and here is the good news if it is good news.  I am
 going to be in charge of a twenty piece jazz show orchestra sponsored by
 the local government.  I think starting in a couple of months.  My friend
 wrote a 30 page proposal to the Cultural Government Office here telling
 them about my life and what I can do for the city of Shenzhen.  Since I
 proved myself at the Dance Company Job there is not any problem about my
 ability. However the politics here are so thick it is impossible for me to
get a job here I believe at this point.  I have been here almost 1 1/2 years.

 Anyway, the same cultural office closed down the dance company group
 because of lack of effort on their part I think or personal war. I coached them for three
 months, but it was too late to save them.  I am really not sure,
 but all they did was sit around and talk until I got there.  I did my
 best to instill in them the joy of music and not the joy of money.

 Anyway, in this stage of my life I would be just happy to teach what I
 know and not perform.  Because my ideals are so removed from the average
 musician and the average person that it seems ridiculous at this stage
 in my life to try to communicate my views about music except to teach
 about it and not perform it.

 All ready the marketing manager is making this into a circus with
 dancers and singers and extra musicians.  I kept asking were does the
 jazz come in?  Where is the creative part of this project?  I think I
 should get ready to put on the clown outfit, but what else am I going to
 do at this stage in my life sell shoes?

 Today I would love to teach them to play but I  will not be very interested
 in being a Kenny G.  He always has a great
 rhythm section that I would love to flush down the toilet.
 It is hard to get away from Kenny G. his music is in so many restaurants.

 No matter what I might say maybe this is a chance for me to become an
 institution here.  I told my friends I am not Kenny G nor do I want to be
 Kenny G. She said we all know that you just let someone else play that
 part you just stand there and look good.  Does anyone have a clown
 outfit for me to wear so I can paint on a big smile on my face?

 I was listening to Wyntons website today to all his concerts at Lincoln
 Center.  You know I could not relate to any of those concerts to me it
 was more about racism then music. http://www.jazzradio.org You can listen to
 about 20 hour concerts there. I guess I must be out of step.  They never
 mention a white musician on their broadcast.  Plus I really do not like
 the way they play jazz. Everybody has an opinion doesn't one.

 Anyway, I hope here in Shenzhen we can do better in a few years if it
 all works out!  Well I do not think it is working out I still cannot get
anybody to listen to me there is so much racism in these developing countries.

 I think we should all say a prayer for those who lost their lives in the
 war who became victims of man's evil and all other wars too.  Also the
 truth is coming out about the catholic church in Mass.  This is the
 State that stole my children from me.  The State Kennedy is from and
 Harvard the holy school of our nation. Needless to say I am not very
 happy with these pompous asses.  It is easy to be an ass hard to be a
 human being.

 I am not Mark Twain but would like to be.

 Always Greg Henry Waters


 If you want to get some fresh ideas go here. http://greghenrywaters.com/yoga and
 remember my teacher.